Women’s Safety Tips – How to Repel Instead of Attract Attackers – Part 2

by Kelly Rudolph on April 15, 2009 · 2 comments

Tip #2 – Healthy Self Esteem

All women need to realize that not only does self-esteem take a beating after being victimized but low self-esteem attracts those who do the beating! I would not have entered either the date rape situation or the domestic violence situation in my life, had I had healthy self-esteem. Let’s help prevent people we know from going through the violence cycle of low self-esteem – violence – lower self-esteem – more violence – even lower self-esteem – even more violence, and on and on.

The Connection Between Self-Esteem and Attackers:

1. Attackers, whether verbal, mental, emotional or physical, have low self-esteem

2. Attackers look for people weaker than themselves to attack so they are sure to “win”

3. Self-esteem shows on the outside in body language

4. Attackers are experts at reading body language

5. If your self-esteem is lacking, attackers can tell


Tips for Raising Self-Esteem for Safety Purposes:

1. Realize that attackers are cowards and the purpose of any attack is get a “power fix”

2. Attacks are all about the attacker, not about the victim; they are not personal

3. Simply demonstrating confident body language can repel an attacker

4. Know that you already have higher self-esteem than most attackers, even on a bad day

5. You are absolutely just as valid, important and necessary to the world as anyone else

6. We are each on a different path to arrive at love and peace and harmony; your path is your path

7. When you find a new or better path, you can take it regardless of what anyone else says

8. You are perfectly capable of living your own life, choosing your own friends and making good decisions all by yourself

9. You are worthwhile and have the right to do whatever is necessary to protect and defend yourself


We would be less concerned about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do. Everyone’s favorite topic is themselves. When we talk about others it usually has to do with how they affect us. Often times it is to get attention, which goes back to us and our self-esteem. Complaining about someone usually means they have something we want, looks, attention, confidence, career; again the focus is actually us.

When we realize that we are on the right path for wherever we are at the time to learn what we need to learn and that everyone is equal in value, we do some wonderful things:

1. We relax

2. We feel empowered

3. We claim our right to protect and defend ourselves

4. We get a burning desire to help others see their own worth

5. We increase our self-esteem ten times over


Some days seem like a roller coaster ride in the “Self-Esteem Amusement Park.” This is, unfortunately, normal so we need to continuously remind ourselves of our value and place in the world. Surround yourself with friends who understand you and bolster, instead of attack, your self-esteem. If you feel bad about yourself around certain people, get them out of your life ASAP. It can be challenging to stay positive and impossible if someone in your life is disempowering (bullying) you.

If you don’t have any great, positive people in your life right now, be your own best company and you will attract them. They are worth the wait!

About the Author: Kelly Rudolph – “Your Personal Safety Trainer” – survived rape and domestic violence, and then trained extensively in self-defense to become a Certified Self-Defense Instructor. She has appeared on national TV with John Walsh of “America’s Most Wanted,” written four books on personal safety and has won numerous awards and recognition for her work with SURVIVE! (a self-defense program she created). If you want to learn how to be safer, grab a sample Safety Quick Tip and get some other cool bonuses, please visit Kelly at http://www.PersonalSafetyTrainer.com.

[Editor’s Comments: Happy Tax Day! I wish there was something I could do to help protect you from the IRS. Unfortunately, that is all up to you!

But so is taking responsibility for your personal safety.

Kelly gave us some great tips for bolstering our self-esteem for safety purposes. Do you have any other ideas you can share? If so, please leave us a comment!

Kelly also gives the following bonus tip: Be sure to bolster your loved ones’ self-esteem so they can be safer from attacks too. The first place I would start is at http://www.PersonalSafetyTrainer.com.]

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Michele April 20, 2009 at 1:17 pm

Self Esteem is so important. I completely agree that if you walk like you are confident that not many attackers will disturb you. You are aware and look like you know what to do if attacked. I find that self esteem needs to be dealt with at an early age. I am a teacher and I can already see the barriers and struggles that kids have now a days. Encourage your children and praise them… give them the confidence to ward off attackers even at their age and when they get older.

2 Healthy Diet Lets Woman Lose Thirty Pounds in Thirty Days April 30, 2009 at 12:07 pm

Hi, good post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting. I will certainly be coming back to your blog.

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